


jennifer

by nostalgics



Category: Jennifer's Body (2009)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-29
Updated: 2019-06-29
Packaged: 2020-05-29 14:14:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,430
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19401991
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nostalgics/pseuds/nostalgics
Summary: “I love you as certain dark things are to be loved, in secret, between the shadow and the soul.” – Pablo Neruda—Chronicling the lives of Needy and Jennifer from the moment they meet until the moment they die.





	jennifer

_i._

Needy calls it sandbox love. The two girls meet in preschool, and even though Needy didn’t know what soulmates were, some part of her always knew that Jennifer was hers. Needy knew that this girl was her soulmate from the moment their eyes met across the playground.

Of course, she wasn’t Needy back then. Not yet, anyway. Anita Lesnicki had her mom do her hair in two pigtails for her first day of preschool. She makes sure to wear her favorite blue dress, and she clutches her favorite doll between her tiny little fingers.

Anita has never made friends easily. She’s small, quiet, and awkward. Most of her classmates think she’s kind of weird. That’s why Anita never understood how or why a girl like Jennifer would want to be friends with a girl like herself. Because even then, everyone could tell there was something special about Jennifer. Anita doesn’t complain though; there was something about Jennifer that made her different from all the other little girls in Devil’s Kettle, and she was lucky enough to witness it up close. 

Anita likes princesses and pirates, and she likes playing in the sandbox in the playground. She’s convinced that there’s buried treasure down there somewhere, so she digs determinedly with a plastic yellow shovel. Little did she know, the treasure she would end up finding would actually be another young girl on the same playground, with silky brunette hair and full pouty lips.

“Hi, I’m Jennifer. But you can call me Jenny,” the girl says, with a saccharine smile that makes Anita’s teeth hurt like she’s eaten too many of her mom’s homemade brownies.

Anita looks around for a moment, almost unsure if this girl was actually talking to _her_. No one else ever wanted to play with Needy, and for the most part, she was okay with that.

Jennifer ignores the look of confusion on Anita’s face, and sits down next to her. “Can I play with you?”

“Okay. My name is Anita by the way,” she says, passing Jennifer another plastic shovel, this one red, with a tiny crack on the handle. “I’m looking for buried treasure.”

When Jennifer grabs the shovel, her fingers clumsily brush against Anita’s, and it causes goosebumps to rise along Anita’s arm.

“Anita is a pretty name,” Jennifer says. She pronounces it like _ah-nee-dah_. “But you need a nickname.” 

“Do I?” Anita looks over at Jennifer. She’s never had a nickname, probably because she never had that type of friendship with anyone until now.

Jennifer meets her gaze. “All the cool girls have nicknames. Duh.” She says this matter of factly, as if there was no argument when it came to Anita’s coolness.

“No one’s ever called me cool before,” she rolls her eyes.

Jennifer looks at her, “well you are.” And that was that.

From then on, Anita was Needy, and Needy had a new best friend.

_ii._

Jennifer takes out all the money from the mason jar on her desk on Needy’s seventh birthday. It’s where she keeps the change she finds between couch cushions and underneath park benches. Jennifer is determined to find her best friend a perfect gift.

There’s an antique store on the corner of a small street, nestled between an old burger joint and a clothing boutique, and Jennifer saved up all her money for the set of matching ‘BFF’ necklaces she saw in the shop’s window weeks before Needy’s birthday. She pushes open the door, $8.29 worth of change in the pocket of her denim shorts, and a steely resolve in her heart. The door chimes as she walks in, and the girl behind the counter gives Jennifer a wave.

“Hey there, kiddo. What’s up?” 

Jennifer smiles brightly, “it’s my best friend’s birthday! I’m here to get her a present.” 

“That’s fantastic, what are you getting her?” The store clerk’s smile matches Jennifer’s. 

“I wanna get her the BFF necklace set in the window,” pronouncing it _biff_. 

The lady walks over, reaching into the window. “It’s a very lovely necklace.”

Jennifer nods in agreement, as the necklace is handed to her, nestled in a little pink velvet-lined box. “How much is it?”

“Don’t worry, it’s on the house. You can take it.”

Jennifer smiles again, “thanks!”

“No problem, tell your friend I say happy birthday!”

She spends the money on candy hearts instead, and her hands linger on the back of Needy’s neck when she does the clasp for her. Needy promises they’ll be best friends forever, and Jennifer believes her.

_iii._

Needy gets invited to her first real party in the third grade. Jennifer tells her that a real party means that it wasn’t anyone’s birthday, and it wasn’t being held at the community center. It’s a party just for the sake of being a party, which doesn’t make much sense to Needy. 

The two girls are sitting together at lunch when Jonas Kozelle comes up to them. He’s a chubby kid with an awkward smile and a desperate crush on Jennifer. Needy picks at the crust of her sandwich as he starts talking.

“Hey Jenny. Hey Needy.” He pauses awkwardly. “I’m having a party on Saturday and I was wondering if you wanted to come.”

“I didn’t know it was your birthday.” Needy has to tilt her head up to look at the tall boy standing next to her.

Jonas sticks his hands in his pockets. “Oh um, it’s not.” He looked around then whispers, “it’s a real party.”

Jennifer looks uninterested, much to Jonas’ obvious dismay. “Will Craig be there?”

“Uh, yeah. Yeah he will.”

At that, Jennifer nods. Jonas stands there awkwardly for a couple seconds, not knowing what more to say, before finally walking away.

“Oh my God, Needy.” Jennifer bursts out laughing. 

“What?”

“Jonas _likes_ me.”

Needy rolls her eyes and takes a bite of her sandwich. “No he doesn’t. You just think everyone likes you.”

“Seriously, did you see how nervous he was?” Jennifer laughs again. “We _have_ to go to the party.”

“You don’t even like him.”

She shrugs. “Yeah, but I like Craig, and he’s going to be there.” Then, she lowers her voice into a whisper “and _real_ parties play spin the bottle.”

Needy knows of spin the bottle from glimpses of the television shows her mom watches sometimes. But her mom never lets her watch those parts, and Needy doesn’t really like watching. She thinks kissing is gross, and her mom always chuckles and agrees with her.

Come Saturday afternoon, both girls are standing in the fancy looking kitchen in Jonas’ house. The party is a lot more boring than Needy expected, if she’s honest. There’s chips and soda laid out on the counter, and radio pop playing from cheap speakers, as boys and girls skirt around each other trying not to glance too hard at anyone.

Craig finds a bottle of Jonas’ mom’s wine in a cabinet next to the fridge, and uncorks it despite Jonas’ protests (“dude, my mom is going to _kill_ me!”). He takes a large swig, and burps.

“Who wants a drink?” Craig holds up the bottle triumphantly, and some of the deep red liquid sloshes out, splashing against the white porcelain kitchen tiles. Jennifer looks up at him challengingly and takes the bottle.

She too, takes a rather large drink from the bottle, before handing it to Needy. Needy looks at Jennifer, all bright eyes and wine-stained lips, and there’s this feeling in her heart she can’t explain. So instead, she takes the bottle and takes a small sip, breaking eye contact with Jennifer.

The group of kids pass the bottle around, and quickly deplete it. They’re all a little too young to be drinking, but none of them dare back down. It’s a real party, after all. Needy sits down when she starts feeling a little lightheaded, even though she barely drank any wine at all. It tastes disgusting, and she doesn’t really get how adults (or Jennifer) are able to drink so much of it.

But then Jennifer takes the bottle, and boldly declares that everyone should play spin the bottle. Her voice is wobbly, but there’s still a dangerous edge to it.

“Jenny, that’s not really a good idea,” someone nervously suggests.

“Says who?” 

They don’t answer. Everyone obediently follows Jennifer to Jonas’ living room, where they all take seat in a circle on the floor. Jennifer looks around at everyone, and gives a small smirk.

“Craig, you found the bottle. You go first.”

He looks at Jennifer, and carefully takes the bottle from her, setting it down in the middle of the circle. He spins it with both hands, and watches as it quickly spins, pointing at each of the people sitting around it, before starting to slow its pace.

Instead of letting it stop naturally, Jennifer sticks out a hand, and stops it right as it points at her. She looks up at Craig, who looks amused.

Another person speaks up. “Jennifer I don’t think you can do that.”

“Says who?”

Jennifer crawls across the circle, and stops right in front of Craig, who looks back at her mirroring the mischievous look on his face. Needy wants to look away as Jennifer leans in to give Craig a firm peck on the lips, but somehow she can’t.

She gets the same feeling she felt earlier, when Jennifer passed her the wine bottle, but this time it’s amplified by the alcohol in her system. She doesn’t know how to explain the feeling, though she kind of wishes she was the one Jennifer wanted to kiss.

“It landed on me, so it’s my turn to spin the bottle.”

The bottle is placed back in the middle of the circle, and Jennifer spins it expertly, as if she’s played this game before. Maybe she has. Everyone watches as the bottle rotates on its axis, the only sound in the room being the sound of the glass bottle moving against the hardwood floors. 

As the bottle slows, it moves past an eager looking boy, and lands on Needy. 

“Jennifer, you can’t kiss a _girl_ ,” the boy points out, as if it was obvious.

“Says who?”

No one says anything. Jennifer looks at Needy from across the circle, eyes a little too wild, smile a little too daring, and Needy suddenly feels like all the air was sucked out of her lungs.

“I—I’m going outside for a breather.”

_iv._

Jennifer finds one of her mom’s _Cosmopolitan_ magazines during the summer before fifth grade. The cover boasts a photo of a boy and girl engaged in a passionate kiss, with the text “Ten Tricks to Up Your Kissing Game” above it. Needy feels wrong just looking at it. 

Jennifer instead says “we should try this out.”

“Gross.”

Jennifer smiles mischievously. “Come _on_ , Needy.” 

“Jen we can’t just _kiss_ ,” Needy whispers the last word, as if she’d get in trouble for saying it, even though the only other person in the room was Jennifer. 

Jennifer cocks her head. “Why not?”

“You need a reason to kiss someone,” Needy explained. “Like, if we were boyfriend and girlfriend.”

“No you don’t. I kissed Craig that time at the party, and I kissed Roman the other day at the park.”

Needy makes a disgusted face. “Ew. Isn’t Roman in like, high school?”

“He’s a sophomore,” Jennifer shrugs nonchalantly. 

“Gross.” 

“Anyway,” Jennifer looks back at Needy intently. “Like I said. You don’t need a reason to kiss someone.” 

Needy looks at her friend dubiously.

Jennifer knows Needy isn’t going to say no, “but if you really need one, we can pretend to be boyfriend-girlfriend.”

“That’s not--” Needy opens her mouth to protest, but her lips are met instead with Jennifer’s. Needy is frozen in shock for a second, but eventually she reciprocates, and Jennifer smiles into the kiss.

It’s so much better than kissing Craig, or Roman, or any of those kisses that don’t have a reason.

_v._

Jennifer doesn’t remember a time where Needy wasn’t her best friend. No one else had even come close. Not the boys who called Needy names, and not the girls who only started being nice to Jennifer when she got boobs. It was always her and Needy against the world. 

In the seventh grade, Jennifer gets really pretty. Not that she wasn’t pretty before, but this time she gets _really_ pretty. The type of pretty people can’t not notice. She gets her braces off, and replaces her glasses with contact lenses, and suddenly people start treating her like an entirely different person.

That same year, she decides to stop going by “Jenny” because she thinks calling herself “Jennifer” makes her more serious and adult. That doesn’t stop Needy from calling her “Jen,” and Jennifer doesn’t really mind. She’d never admit it out loud, but she doesn’t think that single syllable could sound more perfect coming from anyone else’s mouth. 

Its also the year Jennifer and Needy get into their first real fight. Jennifer doesn’t always notice that the eighth grade girls only give Needy half a glance because they know her and Jennifer are a package deal. Jennifer doesn’t always notice that Needy feels upset and insecure, because Needy is the only person in her eyes even if the other girl doesn’t know it. 

And one day, the eighth grade girls invite Jennifer to sit with them at lunch, and its no coincidence that there isn’t any room at the table for Needy. 

“Sorry Anita,” a girl with over-plucked eyebrows and clumpy mascara shrugs, with a faux-pout on her face.

Needy rolls her eyes and walks away, but Jennifer is pulled back down into her seat with a forceful hand when she tries to get up to follow.

**_xneedylesnickix:_ ** _you couldve defended me at lunch u kno_

Jennifer looks at the message on her computer screen later that night. She types out several responses, deleting each of them before replying.

**_jennyfromtheblock:_ ** _what was i supposed 2 do_

**_xneedylesnickix:_ ** _why do u even sit with them_

**_jennyfromtheblock:_ ** _they r my friends_

**_xneedylesnickix:_ ** _im ur friend…_

**_jennyfromtheblock:_ ** _im allowed 2 have more than 1 friend_

Needy doesn’t reply to that, and Jennifer doesn’t say anything else. They both know they’ll get mad at each other if they do. The two don’t talk for the next three days, and Needy sits with some boy named Collin at lunch. It’s the longest they’ve gone without talking since that fateful day in kindergarten.

They talk again when Jennifer breaks her arm in gym glass. Needy could hear the sickening crack of the bone from across the gymnasium, and her blood runs cold when she hears Jennifer scream. She knows it’s Jennifer screaming, because it’s the same scream she’s heard a million times.

The first time Needy hears Jennifer scream was when she pushed the girl off the high diving board at the public pool when they were eight. When Jennifer resurfaced, she shouts the words “I hate you Needy Lesnicki!” But even from ten feet above, Needy could see Jennifer’s smile, and all she does is laugh before jumping down after her.

Needy hears Jennifer scream when the two girls watch horror movies the past weekend, sitting together in the dark, Jennifer screaming and clutching at Needy’s arm during the most obvious of jump-scares, but Needy doesn’t complain because Jennifer always ends up sitting halfway on her lap by the end of the movie.

So when Needy hears the scream, she knows it’s Jennifer. She doesn’t even remember they were fighting the past few days when she runs up to her best friend’s side.

“Jennifer,” she tries to shout, but her breath catches in her throat, and it comes out a hoarse whisper. “Jennifer!”

It wasn’t loud enough by any means, especially with the people crowding around Jennifer, but she looks up almost as if she knew Needy would come running for her. Everyone else fades into the background as she lets out a weak smile through the tears.

Her skin is blotchy from crying, and cheap drugstore mascara is running down her face, but Needy still thinks Jennifer is as pretty as ever. She reaches out her hand to grab Jennifer’s uninjured arm, and Jennifer grips it tightly. Their hands fit together perfectly like pieces of a puzzle. They always did.

Neither of them say anything more, just sitting hand in hand until the ambulance comes. No one stops Needy when she follows Jennifer onto the ambulance, but the words “lesbigay” and “dykes” are whispered. The two girls pretend they don’t hear it.

Jennifer returns to school after the weekend, a bright pink cast on her arm, and Needy’s name written neatly across it in sharpie. The girls forget completely about their fight, and somehow seem even closer than they were before.

Even though Jennifer fractured her left arm when she’s right-handed, her unbroken hand is always holding Needy’s. At lunchtime, the two girls sit alone together, and Needy spoon feeds Jennifer low-fat yogurt, and brings the water bottle right up to Jennifer’s lips when she wants a drink.

If Needy saw any of the “couples” in their class do something similar, she’d be completely nauseated. In fact, she’d probably make fake-gagging faces at Jennifer. She and Jennifer aren’t a couple though.

That doesn’t stop the rumors from spreading. The same eighth grade girls who were so quick to befriend Jennifer turns against her just as easily.

Jennifer brushes them off. “They’re just jealous.

"“That they aren’t lesbians? "

Jennifer rolls her eyes. “No. They’re jealous they don’t have you. Plus, we’re not lesbians, we’re just biffs.”

The word “biffs” makes Needy’s heart ache, but she isn’t quite sure why.

_vi._

Jennifer says the words “I love you” to Needy for the first time on the day before they start high school. Not the casual ‘love yous’ they would whisper offhandedly at the end of phone calls, or the exaggerated ‘ugh, I love you’ they’d sigh when they would offer each other the last slice of pizza.

The first time Jennifer says the three words to Needy and really meant it with every fiber of her being, was on the day before the first day of high school.

The two girls were in Jennifer’s bedroom, Needy lying sideways on the bed, flipping through an issue of Teen Vogue magazine from a few weeks back. Her glasses were crooked, and her hair was disheveled, but the sight still makes Jennifer’s heart skip a beat. Some song by some emo band plays on the radio, and Needy was nods her head to the beat.

Jennifer sits at her desk staring at her friend, who’s too focused on the magazine to notice. It was moments like these that turn Jennifer into a pile of strawberry shampoo scented mush. She’s usually a reserved person; emotions replaced with sarcastic quips, and eye rolls. But Needy makes Jennifer weak in the knees in a way no one else ever does.

She slowly turns the music down. “Hey Needy,” she says softly.

Needy looks up startled. “Yeah?”

“I love you, y’know.” Jennifer states plainly.

Needy closes the magazine, and sits up. She doesn’t know what to say. 

“I just wanted to make sure you knew.”

Still silent, not saying anything, Needy looks at Jennifer, who awkwardly runs her hands through her hair. Jennifer was never one to share her feelings like this, and she feels slightly embarrassed. Needy’s silence makes her feel like she’s said something wrong. Like the other girl didn’t feel the same way.

Finally, after what feels like an eternity, Needy says “I love you too.”

Jennifer would be lying if she said she didn’t let out a huge sigh of relief upon hearing her friend say the words back to her.

“Thank God, Needs. Don’t hesitate like that next time, I thought I broke you." 

“You broke me? I thought you were broken. I didn’t know you could show emotion,” Needy joked. “Guess I’m just that special though.”

Jennifer snorts and rolls her eyes at that, but she’s secretly giddy that Needy said the words back. “Don’t get too cocky, Lesnicki.”

Needy laughs, and gets up from the bed. “I’m gonna go grab a soda from the fridge. You want one?”

“Yeah sure.”

Needy gives Jennifer a kiss on the cheek on her way out of the room, but it lands lopsided, and against the edge of Jennifer’s lips. They’ve kissed more times than they can count by now—on warm summer nights, and in quiet dark rooms—but it makes Jennifer’s heart flutter nonetheless.

When Needy walks out of the room, Jennifer reaches under the collar of her shirt and pulls out her BFF necklace. It’s older now, and well-worn. The gold coating is chipping off the edges, but the three letters are still clear. It’s Jennifer’s most precious possession.

_vii._

Needy meets Chip in their sophomore year of high school, after Jennifer’s had so many boyfriends of her own. They’re past the years of playing boyfriend and girlfriend in the safety of Jennifer’s bedroom. It’s not like Needy ever thought Jennifer would actually want to be her girlfriend anyway.

But Chip is cute in a boyish way, and funny in an innocent way, and he’s everything that Jennifer’s not. Needy thinks she could love him, really. Jennifer isn’t that fond of him, but that just makes Needy like him more.

Needy doesn’t think about Jennifer when she kisses Chip. She doesn’t think that his lips are too awkward and that his stubble is too scratchy. Needy doesn’t think about Jennifer when Chip holds her hand. She doesn’t think that his hands are too big and that his palms are too sweaty. She doesn’t think about Jennifer because Jennifer doesn’t think about her.

She and Jennifer are still friends, but sometimes Needy can’t help but feel bitter when she sees her with another boy, or when she blows off their movie nights for a date. Needy feels bitter, but she knows she shouldn’t, because she does the exact same thing with Chip (even if she does it out of bitterness).

One night, Needy calls Chip over when her mom works a night shift, and the two sit on the couch, paying more attention to each other than the rom-com playing on the television. She straddles his lap, and his hand slowly inches upward from her hip to her breast.

Being with Chip feels good. It’s easy. It’s enough.

Yet when the doorbell rings, Needy knows its Jennifer before she even removes herself from Chip’s lap, and her heart rate instinctively speeds up.

“Wait one second,” she says, pressing a finger to his lips.

He chuckles. “Do you _have_ to open the door? It’s probably no one.”

She ignores him. She barely undoes the deadbolt when the door swings open. Like she guessed, it was Jennifer. It’s clear that Jennifer just returned from a date. She’s wearing that new dress she and Needy bought at the mall last week, and her makeup is done more than usual.

Needy thinks she looks breathtaking.

“Needy, oh my _God_.” Jennifer walks inside, taking off her coat, throwing it aside. “Men are so disappointing.”

Chip clears his throat from the living room at the end of the hall.

“Oh.” Jennifer barely manages to mask her disappointment. “ _He’s_ here.”

“Well hi to you too, Jennifer.”

She lets out a loud exhale. “Whatever.”

Needy shoots him an apologetic look. “Sorry Chipper, can I see you tomorrow?”

“Yeah, I’ll call you.” He gives her a small peck on the cheek as he puts on his jacket.

Jennifer puts on a phony smile and a phony voice “bye Chipper,” she mocks.

Chip is barely out the door before Needy turns to Jennifer. “Seriously? What was that?”

“What?”

Needy looks at Jennifer annoyed. “You can’t just barge in here and kick out my boyfriend.”

“I didn’t kick him out,” she says, walking into the kitchen. “You did.”

“We could’ve been doing stuff.”

Jennifer snorts. “I know you guys weren’t. Plus, you probably shouldn’t. Boys suck.”

Needy doesn’t say anything at that.

“Anyway, you got any good snacks? I went out with some boy from this college, and it was _so_ lame.”

“Check the fridge.” Needy sits back down on the couch, and picks up the remote. “You wanna watch anything?”

Jennifer ignores Needy’s question. “Seriously. He took me to Burger King for our date, and then fucked me in the back of his Corolla.”

Needy turns away from the television and looks at Jennifer, surprised. “You had sex on the first date?”

“Ugh Needy, don’t slut shame. That’s like, totally not cool anymore.” Jennifer pulls out a pint of Ben and Jerry’s ice cream from the freezer. “I think I deserve the calories today.”

Needy finally ends up deciding on reruns of FRIENDS, as Jennifer returns to the couch, two spoons in her hand.

“I’m not kidding. It was probably the worst sex I’ve ever had.”

“Well I don’t have anything to compare that information with.”

“Good. You’d just be disappointed.”

Jennifer shoves a spoonful of ice-cream into her mouth, leaving a trail of chocolate dripping down her chin. Needy stops herself from reaching out to wipe it off, but Jennifer doesn’t say anything more. The two turn to the television, and watch two whole episodes before she speaks up again.

“I wish it was all as easy as when we used to play boyfriend-girlfriend.”

Needy shifts in her seat to look at Jennifer. “Well, we aren’t kids anymore. 

“Yeah its too bad,” Jennifer says softly. “You were a really good kisser.”

When Jennifer turns to look at Needy, their faces are barely inches apart. It takes all of Needy’s willpower to not look down at Jennifer’s lips, but she can’t stop herself, and Jennifer leans in.

They kiss passionately, Jennifer’s hands tangled in Needy’s hair as she pushes the girl into a laying position. All Needy can think about is how perfect Jennifer’s lips feels against her lips. Her cheek. Her neck. Her collarbone. All Needy can think about is how perfect Jennifer’s soft hands feel against her skin as they move underneath her shirt.

Needy doesn’t want to think about Chip, who’s cute in a boyish way, and funny in an innocent way, and everything Jennifer isn’t. Needy doesn’t want to think about anyone but Jennifer right now.

Jennifer slowly pulls Needy’s shirt off, before expertly unbuttoning her jeans, and Needy lets her. She would’ve stopped Chip a base and a half ago. She lets Jennifer’s hand slowly travel down between her thighs. She lets Jennifer’s lips kiss her all over.

She lets Jennifer pretend they’re just playing boyfriend-girlfriend, because that’s all this is. It has to be.

_viii._

Jennifer gets possessed by a demon sometime during her junior year of high school. It’s ironic, she thinks—she was always the squeamish one. Just the sight of blood makes her feel woozy, but now she’s out murdering boys without giving it a second thought.

She was always the one who would jump up into a chair, and yelp and point frantically at a spider, whilst Needy would just roll her eyes and stomp on it. She cried for a week when her pet hamster died when she was eight. She’s still sometimes scared of the dark, even though she would never dare admit it. There’s a night light in her bedroom by the door.

Then one day, she’s possessed by a demon, and all her fears melt away. It’s like she’s become a new person. If she could even be considered that anymore. She can’t really tell where she ended and the demon started, and she wasn’t sure she minded. It was fun, and exciting, and everything Devil’s Kettle never was.

Being inhabited by a demon changes a person though. At first, the affects weren’t that noticeable. She was a little vainer than usual, a little meaner. But Jennifer always knew she was pretty, and everyone always knew Jennifer was never the nicest person in town. And so the effects go unnoticed at first.

The one person Jennifer would never have dared say a mean word about in her past though, was her best friend Needy. But she can’t stop herself from making rude comments to her friend. And Needy knows Jennifer, and this is not Jennifer.

And Needy so desperately wanted to save Jennifer. To fix her. So they could go back to the way things were. Until Jennifer killed Needy’s boyfriend. And in that brief moment during the fight in that abandoned pool, Jennifer realized that Needy hated her. Absolutely hated her guts, _hated_ her. Wanted her dead, hated her. Would’ve killed Jennifer herself, hated her.

So Jennifer lets her. Jennifer lets Needy kill her.

Needy was never particularly strong—gym was the only class Needy didn’t have an A in. She couldn’t run a mile, and she couldn’t do more than two push-ups in a row. On the other hand, Jennifer was naturally athletic. Even in her weakened state, Jennifer could easily fight off her best friend.

Plus, she had the power of a millennia-old demon on her side, after all.

Jennifer could feel Needy perched outside her window without having to look over. If she had the energy, she’d roll her eyes. When Needy finally stops staring and climbs into her room, Jennifer doesn’t bother to turn.

She didn’t need to see the look of hatred in Needy’s eyes. She could feel it radiating off the girl in waves. Plus, Jennifer wasn’t sure she could keep it together if she looked at Needy.

When Needy straddles Jennifer, lifting up her shirt, it almost makes Jennifer smile. It’s such a familiar scene, reminiscent of the summer nights they spent together just months ago. When they fight, Jennifer almost laughs. Instead, she bites down on Needy’s shoulder. Hard. It’s the same patch of skin Jennifer used to pepper with butterfly kisses during sleepovers. It makes Needy’s muscles tense, and Jennifer throws her head back.

There’s a look on Needy’s eyes when she spots the ‘BFF’ pendant on Jennifer’s pale chest. The look isn’t angry, or even upset. It’s just empty. It’s like Needy didn’t care about Jennifer anymore. It makes the last human part of Jennifer’s heart hurt.

Needy’s fingers roughly scratch against Jennifer’s skin when she grabs the necklace. She tugs at it hard enough that the clasp snaps. The feeling of the metal breaking against the back of her neck hurt more than the bowie knife being driven through her heart all those months ago.

Then, it’s like time slows down. The necklace sails across the room. A drop of her own blood trickles down the blade of the box cutter. Beads of sweat drip down Needy’s face. The tension in the air so thick Needy could’ve cut it with her knife. Then, Jennifer realizes that Needy wasn’t wearing her own matching necklace.

Jennifer knows for a fact that Needy hasn’t taken the pendant necklace off once in the past ten years. Her breath gets caught in her throat, and the back of her eyes are stinging like she’s about to cry. She hears her necklace land somewhere on the floor next to her bed.

She doesn’t try to fight anymore. There’s no going back.

Jennifer gives up. Her muscles relax, and she stops levitating. The two crash back down to the bed, and for a moment, Needy looks surprised. Then just as quickly, the look fades, and Needy is expressionless. She lifts up the box cutter above her arms.

There’s a small moment of clarity. Jennifer realizes there’s so many things she wants to say to her best friend. The regrets. The apologies. There isn’t enough time—even if there was, Jennifer knew Needy wouldn’t listen. Wouldn’t care.

The blade comes down, and Jennifer feels it pierce through her chest. It hits the same spot on her heart that Low Shoulder’s knife did. She can feel the demon leaving her body. It whispers ‘thank you’ against her body. Even though she’s losing blood rapidly, Jennifer’s skin seems to be slowly gaining color. As if she suddenly became human again.

The heartbreak was literal, yet that didn’t hurt Jennifer. It was the heartbreak of losing her best friend that hurt Jennifer the most. She looked into Needy’s eyes, as if it would telepathically communicate her thoughts, but it didn’t.

Instead, she whispers “ow, my tit.”

She almost doesn’t hear Needy say the words “no, your heart.”

And Needy was right. Just not in the way she thought.

**Author's Note:**

> this is something i've been trying to write for a year now, but my inspiration comes in short bursts every several months. i've finally finished it though, and i hope someone enjoys reading it as much as i like writing it, even though this isn't an active fandom.
> 
> it originally had a couple more parts, but i cut down the word count a lot to make it something easier to read in one sitting.
> 
> tumblr @nostalgics


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